When it comes to marriage or even relationships, sex is a tie that binds. However, for millions of couples, there is trouble behind closed doors. When one partner requires sex more often than the other, there is a sexual desire gap, and that spells trouble. Whether you are the partner who has higher desire or you are the partner with little to no desire, you both must be proactive to make improvements in your relationship.
here are some tips for the spouse whose desire for sex has seemingly vanished:
1. Make sex a bigger priority in your life. Your relationship depends on it, your partner’s feelings about himself/herself depends on it, and your future together depends on it. You have to stop thinking that you will have a great relationship without satisfying sex, unless your partner agrees.
2. Get a medical checkup. To eliminate physiological causes for your lack of desire, a trip to your family physician or gynecologist may be in order. Ask if hormone replacement therapy, herbal remedies or dietary changes may be helpful.
3. Schedule an appointment for you and your partner with a therapist who is trained and experienced in that area. If you are a man whose sexual desire has flat lined due to your having sexual problems such as performance anxiety, a certified sex therapist can teach you many different techniques to overcome these difficulties.
4. Care about your spouse’s feelings. Even though it may not be intentional, your partner may be hurt or feel rejected because of this. Part of the healing that must take place between the two of you involves your active participation in things that will help your partner feel better.
5. Look for the small flutters. When you feel even the slightest bit of desire, follow through with it. Nudge yourself to get your feet moving, you may find that your pleasurable physical sensations often override any reason to resist.
6. Talk openly about your preferences. As you begin to figure out what you like and don’t like, you have to commit to discussing it openly and specifically with your spouse. Don’t be embarrassed, you won’t get very far unless you address it.
Seek help from a professional if you have encountered the sexual desire gap, do not wait until the relationship is in a downward spiral or come to an end. Call today to schedule an appointment! (813)244-1251
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